H O M E M A K E R

a person who spends their time looking after a home and doing housework rather than being
employed outside the home

Homemaking, in the traditional sense, encompasses all household tasks, like laundry, cleaning the floors, scrubbing the toilet, gardening, making the beds, cooking and taking care of all the child-rearing responsibilities.

Some homemakers in the modern day still choose to take on all these tasks, but some don't. Many homemakers don't make any income, leaving that to their partner or husband, but some work part-time allowing them to supplement their family's primary income.

I love that more and more women are choosing to take on the traditional roles that were assigned to us in the past, and find more purpose in maintaining their household than establishing a career outside the home. I personally find more security and purpose when I'm in my feminine energy, and for me, that looks like being a full-time homemaker and raising my kids at home. I'm fortunate that my husband's job makes this possible for me.

I understand that many women also want the same. May it be financial pressures, an unsupportive spouse or something else, it unfortunately isn't on the cards for everyone, or maybe just isn't possible for now. On the other hand, some women don't see fulfillment and purpose in homemaking, and would prefer to establish a career outside the home, or would rather do a bit of both - and that's amazing!

I don't think one is better than the other, because everyone's dreams and situations are different. The aim of this blog post is purely to share my personal take on homemaking and how I serve my family as a homemaker. I've taken on some more traditional roles and have left others to my husband - so it's a more modern-day approach where responsibilities are shared.

meal planning and cooking

A good portion of my every day is spent cooking. This normally looks like preparing dinner in advance (usually during my toddler's nap time to make cooking dinner quicker), making dinner in the evening and baking cookies, muffins, dessert or snacks for my toddler or my husband to take to work in between my other responsibilities.

This is my favourite labour-of-love. I show my love through acts of service, and showcase it through baking and cooking for those who mean the most to me, including my family. Baking is also my favourite past-time, which makes it easier as it also brings me so much enjoyment. Some days, cooking is the last thing I want to do - especially if I'm having a tough day with my toddler and can't seem to get a moment with both my hands free, or it's that time of the month and am feeling a bit run-down and have less energy.

Nevertheless, I'm responsible for the meals in this house and always make having family dinner a priority. My 14-month-old daughter enjoys most of the same meals as us, giving me extra motivation to make a healthy, wholesome dinner every night.

On the occasion my husband and I decide to have a date night at home, or it's been a big day and I haven't managed to make dinner, we will treat ourselves to take-away and usually enjoy it after Eloise has gone to bed. After all, we're living in the 21st century with plenty of luxuries to enjoy (and there's a killer Thai place down the road which I can't beat).

Every Sunday morning (or if I'm really organised, Saturday evening), I plan our family's meals for the week ahead. I do this operating on a Sunday to Saturday schedule - and plan our lunches and dinners for those days using my weekly meal planner bundle. You can get your hands on the exact meal planner, shopping list and dinner menu templates I use every week to help make meal planning a breeze by subscribing to my fortnightly newsletter.

I also decide what I'm going to bake for the week, which usually is some type of cookie, along with banana bread bars (which is just my banana muffin recipe poured into a brownie tray and cut into rectangles).

packing my husband's lunch

I feel like this is a controversial thing, and I honestly have no idea why. Like I mentioned, acts of service is my love language, which is why homemaking and serving my family in many 'traditional' ways comes naturally to me. Some may think that your husband can do this himself, and he definitely can - they're not incapable. And on some days where the morning has been a bit hectic, Jesse will pack his own lunch for the day. Coming from a place of love, I always want my husband to have a balanced lunch at work, because he is BUSY!

This usually looks like leftovers from dinner the night before as his main lunch, along with savoury and sweet snacks. Recently, he's been loving hummus and crackers, along with something I've baked that week, which is usually a cookie or the banana bread bars I mentioned earlier.

child-rearing

Raising, nurturing and establishing positive values in our children is a shared responsibility in our family - it's not all on me. Despite Jesse going to work each day and being tired when he comes home, he loves nothing more than being with Eloise, playing with her or sitting on a rug in the backyard watching the birds, planes and clouds in the afternoon. Very often, he'll water the garden with her by his side while I finish making dinner or have a shower, and they both love it so much. This also allows me to get some things done toddler-free.

During his working hours, this responsibility is exclusively on me because I'm the only parent available, and I find great purpose in doing so. But once Jesse's home, we're co-parents, parenting together while making sure both of us get our much-needed rest and time to ourselves. To get Eloise down smoothly while allowing us to settle into the evening, Jesse does bath time while I wash the dishes and tidy the kitchen. It's a joint effort.

On Jesse's commute home from work, he'll listen to a podcast to help him unwind, switch-off from work and switch-on family-mode. By the time he's home, he's ready to be the most present father and husband he can be, leaving the stress of his work behind him.

cleaning and laundry

This is where we probably differ the most from the traditional gender roles in a more 'old-fashioned' family dynamic. I clean inside the home and don't clean or maintain the outside of the home, at all. Jesse will clean the outside of the house, our entertaining area, do the gardening, mow the lawn and trim overgrown trees and shrubs as needed.

Meanwhile, I clean the kitchen, the floors (with the exception of mopping - Jesse does this), wipe down all hard surfaces in the home to keep it tidy and dust-free, along with cleaning the bathroom and toilet.

I have a mould and dust allergy, which previously has kept me from doing most of these tasks. I don't know if pregnancy or time has changed things, but I feel like I'm less sensitive to these triggers but still wear a pair of gloves just in case. If anything has become mouldy, or needs a scrub with heavier products, Jesse will take over that task for me.

Laundry is in my court and I love it. I get so much satisfaction in seeing empty washing baskets and folded clothes put away. Everyday tasks can feel a little mundane when you're doing it full-time, so I like to get Eloise involved with this to make it more enjoyable. It takes extra strength because I hold her on my hip while I go to the laundry and put the clothes in the machine, but she loves seeing me press the buttons and helping me fold the clothes. Alternatively, I'll listen to a podcast or catch up on YouTube videos.

Jesse will sometimes do the laundry on the weekends or help me out on a weekday by putting a load of washing on before I even get out of bed.

making appointments

This is pretty self-explanatory, but is almost exclusive to making doctors appointments for Eloise. I take full responsibility for this and don't expect or ask Jesse to handle any of it. He does, however, always attend her immunisations.

creating a warm and welcoming home

Homemaking isn't all just cleaning and making sure everyone's well fed. A big focus for me is making my home a haven for my husband to come home to, for me to live in and for anyone who walks through my door to enjoy. As much as possible, I try to keep my house tidy (which usually means I do quick 5-minute pick ups a few times a day) and cosy. For me, a cosy home is a welcoming home. I'm not a huge fan of very modern things and styles, and instead, prefer to fill our home with decor that is a nice blend of old and new. It's made easier for me because we live in a 1960's post-war cottage, so the 'old' part is mostly taken care of, and I just find things to bridge the gap.

I also enjoy lighting beautiful scented candles that make my home feel calm and relaxing, and always ensure we have a fully-stocked linen cupboard full of fresh towels and duvets. I create my own prints in Canva to put in frames, allowing me to affordably create the atmosphere I want in my home.

maintaining our home schedule

A home schedule is essentially a weekly schedule for all things homemaking. For example, on Mondays you might always wash the bedding, Tuesdays might be for doing a full clean of your bathroom and toilets, Wednesdays could be when you wash your towels etc. Creating a home schedule is a very individual thing and you set it up in a way that works and is achievable for you. For the last few months, I've been following a home schedule and it's helped me so much. It's about consistency while allowing for flexibility, so you don't feel like you can't make plans otherwise your schedule will be out for the week.

This is a topic all on its own, so I'd love to do a separate blog post all about our home schedule and how to create a schedule that works for you!

but what about...

Sewing? Making bread? Sourdough?

Simply, I don't do any of these things. My sewing experience extends to three years of home economics in high school, and I've personally never tried making bread.

That being said, I would absolutely love to learn how to do it. Imagine the smell of FRESH bread straight out of the oven? Yes please!

in summary...

I'm not a 'traditonal' homemaker. I don't sew, preserve what's in season for next year or tend to a garden full of produce. Jesse maintains what's outside the home, and I focus on what's inside. He helps me with the laundry when he can and helps vacuum on weekends too. We both wash the dishes and raise our daughter together so the responsibility isn't only on me. I still take on most of the traditional homemaking responsibilities majority of the time, but my husband does some too and steps in to help whenever he can.

I'm so grateful to have such a loving and supportive husband that works hard to allow me to live the lifestyle I do. I love my role as a homemaker and stay-at-home mum and am excited to continue on this journey, learning new skills and mastering the maintenance of our home.

show some love